Can I ignore the mass amounts of papers you A-Holes have sent me?
◥		ihatebeinghandedthings

No, you may not, Mr. Stark.  If you would just fill out your paperwork immediately, we would not have to repeatedly send you the files.

Ma'am, there seems to be a situation developing on flight deck 3. As far as I can tell, judging by the profuse amount of arrows and a bag of apples Agent Barton and Agent Wilson are attempting the William Tell act in front of the junior agents. Am I cleared to engage? - Quartermaster K. Holiday
◥		Anonymous

I’d contact Agent Coulson to see how you should approach this exact situation without being roped in.  At least have someone get the junior agents out of the area, we really do not need them getting shot.

FYI, I just delivered 25,000 gallons of gasoline to a Wade Winston Wilson. Where is my check for 84,475 United States Dollars? -The new delivery guy
◥		Anonymous

I am going to have to talk to your employer and see why Agent Wilson is not on his list of people to never fill orders for.  We’ll see that Agent Wilson reimburses you.  I’m sorry for the hassle. 

It seems we have received the coffee delivery. We have received a shipment of DECAF when we ordered regular. Our discount coffee vendor will not accept returns since it has been within a mile of Stark. Can we mix this in with the regular or should we just drop it out of the cargo bay the next time we fly over the coffee vendor?
◥		Anonymous

Do not mix the coffee.  Find space to store it, we might need it in the future.  Do not drop anything out of the cargo bay ever unless you have the approval of the senior agents and have already filed paperwork indicating that this will be happening.  

So... The Good news is Agents Stark and Banner have doused their bonfire. The bad news is that it is because Thor offered to help them build a better one if they are willing to wait until Midsummers Eve. Orders? And can I have that night off?
◥		a-vinlander-skald-and-bearsark

If none of them are on the helicarrier or at any S.H.I.E.L.D. building, I do not care how big a fire they build, so long as they do not start a wildfire. 

Mod’s curosity?

[[What do you guys think Ms. Sylvester of HR looks like?  I’m pretty much set on a faceclaim, but I was wondering what you guys thought, because nothing’s ever been set in stone here.

PS: New paperwork tomorrow.]]

Where is the paperwork burning permission paperwork? I need to fill it out and burn it along with some other paperwork.
◥		Anonymous

There is no such form and do not burn any paperwork.  That is a waste of our supplies, and the less fire, the better.  

Should I be concerned that Dr. Banner is burning paperwork? What if this paperwork includes drunk science reports? Did I mention Stark is helping him and they are both drunk?
◥		Anonymous

Keep an eye on them and call Captain Rogers if they start to wander toward more dangerous objects. Best to just let them be; the less people involved, the less paperwork that needs to be filed.

ma'am deadpool was spotted with 200 cans of silly string 20 cases of vodka 400 cases of gasoline a skateboard a experimental isotope and a rubber chicken with that hydra agent following him again should i engage?
◥		Anonymous

Please get Bob and return him to his cell. Let the senior agents deal with Agent Wilson, and please try to keep all junior agents and interns away from him. And do not forget to file paperwork.

Umm, chief, I heard that some of the boys were planning to drag race with some fellas from U.N.I.T. ... with helicarriers.
◥		Anonymous

Not my division, but the paperwork that will be required to fill out by every agent and employee involved will be extensive. I do not recommend going through with this. Agents involved in the betting pools will also be required to fill out the necessary paperwork.

hey its bob i'm sorry for that incident in the cell block i thought i saw wolverine and that scared me i'm sorry for inconveniencing all the agents who thought that there was a little girl in the cell blocks
◥		Anonymous

Bob, are you and Agent Wilson attempting to compete for the highest amount of paperwork ever filed under your name?  Because that is not an actual contest. Nor will it ever be a contest.  Ever.

hey it bob again i hate to be a nervous nelly but i don't think that propeller is supposed to be on fire i could be wrong though.
◥		Anonymous

Agents, be aware that Bob has once again gotten out of his cell, if he could be returned to it as soon as possible, that would save you all a load of paperwork.  Someone take care of the propeller, please.  

hey its bob can i ask a question? is there any truth to the rumor of captain america maintaining his youth by eating the hearts of hydra agents? because i don't want to have heart eaten you can find me hiding under the bed in the cell.
◥		Anonymous

Those are lies and I’m going to have to ask you to give me the names of the people who told you this because they’ve got some important classes to attend. You don’t need to hide under your bed.

As for the agents who have been spreading this nonsense, I hope that Captain Rogers doesn’t find out. I’m know Agent Coulson already has plans for you.