S.H.I.E.L.D. Human Resources
Just saw Stark and Wilson running off together yelling, "For Science!!" Should we be worried? I feel that we should... Maybe we should get Banner down there...

I recommend ear plugs and a camera. Perhaps some flame retardant gear as well. I would let Dr. Banner be unless the two of them head toward the kitchens.

If at first you don't succeed, blame Deadpool.



He’s actually usually not at fault, or if he is, it’s because he’s about to head out to save the world,again, in a mission that no one else could do because of dying, and will ultimately see it classified so no one ever knows he did good.

Every. Damn. Time.

Most under-appreciated hero on the face of this Earth.

The Office is Open

Open office hours start now and continue until around 9 EST. All questions will be answered, as well as suggestions.

Mr. Stark, what are you doing with your suits? Do you know how much paperwork this is going to cause?

Mr. Stark, what are you doing with your suits? Do you know how much paperwork this is going to cause?

Please tell me you can deal with Wilson on the kareoke machine in the mess... He's been singing Duran Duran off-key across the entire deck for hours...

You could always try unplugging it. Simple easy solution. I’d suggest not damaging it, karaoke machines don’t come cheap nowadays.

Hey, quick question of the AoS timeline not being followed - if Phil is referred to/treated as the director in the films, will you still accept it? I'm genuinely not trying to be rude, I am just honestly curious.


I understand, and I am very glad you asked:

No, I will not.

TBH I really stopped referencing a lot of the MCU after they fridged Frigga in TDW.

It’s entertaining, and I really enjoy watching it, but it’s taken so many turns I would not enjoy on this blog that I just don’t recognize it on my blog in its entirety. 

I may, because I am fickle and unpredictable as is my right as a human being, reference random events in the movies that I deem possible in any universe. Such as Sam Wilson and Steve Rogers and their ‘on your left’ meeting. That would, I think, haven happened no matter what. I also recognize some of AoS, up to and including Coulson’s revelations about him being in charge of the project and how he was brought back.

But on this blog I do not recognize:

  1. The death of Frigga
  2. The ascendancy of Loki to the throne of Asgard under the guise of Odin
  3. HYDRA’s infiltration of SHIELD
  4. Zola ever being given any measure of scientific autonomy in an official capacity with SHIELD (though I do RP a Zola elsewhere that has done the above. I just do not want it on THIS blog. This blog is a happy, dry, and sarcastic place, not angsty and shattered.)
  5. Romanoff’s backstory rewrite. She is, on this blog, former Red Room, and with the serum, is no longer strictly human. 
  6. Bucky’s backstory rewrite: he knew Romanoff in the Red Room, he killed Itsu, and dammit ZOLA WAS NOT THERE TO EXPERIMENT ON HIM BECAUSE HE WAS IN SHIELD CUSTODY PLOT HOLES SDFLSADLFASDFLABSL
  7. Pretty much all of CA2:TWS in major plot line. SHIELD lives. Always.

I hope this clears some things up. If there are ever questions of specifics, don’t hesitate to ask.

I do love talking to you all.

Note that all of this applies here as well. All of the quirky jokes and such, that is awesome, I love that stuff, it all stays. But for all of my love of the MCU, there’s just a lot of screwy plot holes that would complicate things.

A friend of mine told me bout the geese issue. I'll get rid of them in exchange for use of your kitchen and a ride to Chinatown. Its the only good place that sells fresh geese. - The Goose Guy

Sir, I cannot allow you to do that as that breaks federal laws. The amount of paperwork I do simply to argue that what this organization does is within written law is absurd already without the extra hijinks that happen around here.

Psst. Hail Hydra.


Very funny.

YOU HAVE BEEN HIRING HYDRA AGENTS!!? Sorry for the the course language but WHAT THE HELL!!? YOU WOULDN'T CONSIDER MY APPLICATION!!? WHY NOT!!? -Bob Very Disgruntled Agent Of Hydra

There’s always a chance I only saw a handful of your applications. There may have been a mole in HR first, it would certainly make sense. I mean who suspects HR workers of anything? Paper pushers are just background noise to most agents, and it’s quite a lovely thing.

Do we have a form for any science caused Lola accidents? I'd say more but I'm trying not to get more involved then I already am.

There is an extensive packet that starts with an apology letter and ends with a medical discharge form
because nobody touches Lola and walks away from it.

Are you still having issues with geese? If so I know a guy you can catch them for you he only wants the geese in return and use of your kitchen. He also cooks a mean goose.

If he can make a Canada goose taste good, I am impressed. But due to the Migratory Bird Act, I’m afraid he cannot have any of these geese.

Um, Deadpool is starting to make sense. What do I do?

He is fully capable of doing that, you know. Depending on the subject though, you may wish to distance yourself as it could be Stockholm syndrome.



Are the geese still terrorizing everyone or has this been sorted out?

There are now more of them. 

Oh for the love of cod. Will someone please make a pile of appropriate goose feed in an airlock, I will lead the geese there myself since nobody else will.

tags → #geese invasion